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How to Be Heard
Mastering six overlooked fundamentals of clear communication.
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Or "I haven't had an automobile accident this week, not even a scratch." Little things like that. And then you can say, "No, really. It's been a fine week. I talked to some friends on the phone, and I was just reminded of the marvelous gift of friendship." This builds a friendly atmosphere. It conveys a feeling anybody can identify with. People may say to themselves, "Yes, I talked to some friends this week, too. And sometimes I forget how good that is." That's one way to help establish a warm, friendly atmosphere. There are other ways, but the important thing is to avoid opening negatively or from self-interest or insecurity. I want to communicate openness, that I'm here to serve these people. This setting of the atmosphere, of course, begins before I speak my first word. We can show warmth by our demeanor on the platform. I try to pick out certain people and smile at them. This not only affirms those people, but it also shows the whole congregation I'm glad to be there. People need to know how you feel before you start to speak. They want to know whether you're friendly or worried or mad. For me, the most difficult discipline in speaking is going in with the proper attitude. If I do not want to speak, it is so difficult for me to speak well. Attitude control is essential. I must go up there with a friendly attitude, with a genuine desire to help those people, to give them something they'll find beneficial. It also helps to notice how people are sitting and to gauge the emotional climate of the congregation. This affects how you need to come across. Recently I spoke at a Presbyterian church in Memphis. The 8 a.m. service was about half full. People were sitting in ones and twos and threes. This means I needed to communicate with them individually. The 11 a.m. service, however, was packed, which meant I needed to communicate to them en masse. What's the difference? When people are scattered in a sparsely populated sanctuary, they feel exposed. They can't hide. In a jammed auditorium, people think they're hidden, anonymous, and therefore as you speak, you can detect a more open response. So in the 8 a.m. service, I knew I had to be more personal, speaking as if we were standing face to face and having a conversation. In my opening comments, I used the approach I would if I'd just shaken hands with someone. "You know I'm a Baptist. You also know I'm a social climber, since I'm talking to Presbyterians." I laughed, and they gave a me a courteous laugh. You don't expect a big laugh out of a sparse audience any more than you would from someone you're just getting acquainted with. Then I said a few more personal things, just as if we were still shaking hands. "You know, I was born less than a hundred miles from this place. The town has been kind enough not to put up a sign disclaiming it, even though they haven't put up a sign claiming it." |             |
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