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Home > Articles > Mentoring that Matters
Mentoring that Matters
Reviving an ancient teaching method that adds life to ministry.


Topics:Accountability, Coaching, Community, Discipleship, Leadership, Mentoring, Spiritual care, Spiritual direction, Spiritual formation, Spiritual leadership
Filters:Church staff, Counseling, Discipleship, Elder, Pastor, Pastoral care, Shepherd, Spiritual director
Purpose:Discipleship
References:2 Timothy 2:2
Date Added:July 12, 2007

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Posted: October 31, 2009
Joan Henwood  (Guest)
We are planning a "Mentoring Seminar for our Church women. This article is extremely helpful.


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Mentoring may seem new, but actually it is one of the oldest and best methods of learning. In times before degrees were mandatory, the mentoring system was the accepted one, not only in manual skills but in the professions, such as medicine and law.

Ray Stedman, who pastored Peninsula Bible Church in California for many years, believed in and practiced the apprentice method. He always had a few young men on staff who would travel with him; together they would study, observe, and delineate the scriptural principles of life. These mentorees saw how the work was done and how to apply their learning in practical ways.

As we look at Scripture, we immediately think of Paul and Timothy. From the text I don't know how much technical skill Paul gave him as a missionary, but we do know Paul was an excellent role model and sponsor. He let Timothy observe him at work. Paul promoted him to the churches.

The responsibility of the mentor is to be open, real, and personify consistently who he is so the young person receives a clear, consistent signal. The real responsibility is on the young person to absorb and to observe correctly.

Increasingly churches are starting mentoring programs. A common mistake is that older men visit with younger men without an agenda, eventually simply becoming Bible study or prayer times. These are excellent activities, but they are not mentoring.

Mentoring is a one-on-one relationship between a mentor and mentoree for the specific and definable development of a skill or an art. One of my favorite mentoring stories is the young pianist who came to Leonard Bernstein and asked to be mentored by him. Bernstein said, "Tell me what you want to do and I will tell you whether or not you're doing it."

When you analyze this, you realize Bernstein's deep understanding of mentoring. The young man initiated the contact, he had a specific request, and he made the request of an authority—not that he might get rich as a concert pianist or famous like Bernstein, but that he might become a better pianist.

Bernstein essentially said to the young man, "You're responsible for your playing and your practice. The one thing you can't do is hear yourself as a great pianist hears you. That I can do and will do for you."

The study of mentoring can be organized but not the application. Effective mentoring has no set formula. It's a living relationship and progresses in fits and starts.

Making a good match
It is not difficult to make a list of desired characteristics in a mentor. However, like characteristics of a leader, they are in combination and mix, not equally balanced qualities. Each of these ingredients, however, in some degree should be in a mentor: