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 Sexual Training in RighteousnessOne pastor’s ministry of sexual discipleship for men
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During my first year as youth pastor, I was invited to guest preach for a man who was a hero in his denomination. He had come to Christ at the age of 47, put himself through Bible college, and followed a call to buy a tent and evangelize South Australia. He and his wife planted a string of churches across the outback, including the vibrant church where I spoke. A few months after my visit, I learned this man was no longer in ministry; he was involved sexually with women in his congregation. I was shocked. First, he was a hero of the faith—the churches planted through his sacrificial ministry bore testimony to his love for Jesus. Second, he was nearly 70 years old. Even at that age, his sexual appetite had brought him down. Just 30 years old at the time, I wondered, Doesn't sexual temptation ever let up? A few years later, I found myself attracted to another woman in our congregation. To this day I can't explain why. My wife is vivacious, gorgeous, and passionate. Yet nothing I did would make the attraction cease. I survived because the fear of God moved me to ask for help before I fell. My first step was to tell my wife. It was risky, but I knew the attraction had become so relentless I was in danger of doing something inappropriate. Helen was wonderful. She said, "This is an attack on both of us, and we are going to fight it together." The distressing attraction still didn't go away, so I very reluctantly took a second step: I told my senior pastor what I was going through. He drew near me like a father and coached me like a son. Still, for all that, the attraction stuck to me like glue for a year before it cracked and dissipated. Today I couldn't muster those feelings for that woman if I tried. I am in love with my own wife, still serving God. I am a survivor. Then I was called to be pastor of Careforce Church (formerly Mount Evelyn Christian Fellowship). Founded in 1947, it was a small, white-painted, wooden chapel designed to serve about 50 people. In the late 1970s, the charismatic renewal touched this church and it grew to 350. They purchased eight acres, planned a new worship center, and sensed God moving when their minister fell in adultery. For nearly a year, the elders guided the church without a pastor until, in late 1982, they called me to join them. I realized that the very year I'd been going through my terrible experience of attraction was the same time that the man whose ministry I would take was in adultery, destroying his own marriage and ministry. Sexual DiscipleshipDeveloping and maintaining a healthy sexuality is a challenge for every man. We live in a highly provocative and eroticized world, thus the potential for men to develop distortions in their sexuality is great. Learning to handle the pressure of male sexuality is one of the skills a man must acquire if he is to be successful in his personal life, in his home life, and in his spiritual calling. |             |
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