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Home > Articles > Two of Me
Two of Me
For God's people, the opposite of simplicity is not complexity. It's duplicity.
Mindy Caliguire

Topics:Burnout, Busyness, Calling, Health, Human limitations, Peace, Vulnerability
Filters:Management, Pastor, Pastoral care, Shepherd, Spiritual director, Women's ministry
Purpose:Ministry
References:Psalm 139:1-3, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Romans 12:3
Date Added:October 28, 2008

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Remember the film Multiplicity? The main character tries to alleviate stress by cloning himself whenever it appears that "more of him" would help meet the demands of his career and family. Of course, the plan backfires humorously as his committee of selves can never agree on anything and mutinously vie for power.

This, not so humorously, is the trap Ethan found himself in. The expectations to lead an ever-growing church, deliver powerful sermons, and embody the qualities of a godly father and husband were exacting a toll. He felt like every area of his life was "screaming for more of him" and he couldn't deliver. Keeping so many duplicate Ethans on task was taxing him mentally and physically. He suffered insomnia. And a more destructive toll on his soul was not far off.

How many of us, in our stressed-out moments, have uttered, "If only there were more of me to go around?" or "I just need a few more hours in the day!" In those moments we are tempted to live duplicitously. Learning to recognize the symptoms is vital if we are going to avoid living through a false self. Here are a few questions to uncover the presence of duplicity in my soul:

  • Do I feel overwhelmed by options? Deciding between thirty pediatric fever medicines, or dozens of investment strategies, or which ministry opportunity I should accept is stressful. Having so many options can be relentless and exhausting, sucking mental energy right out of us. When overwhelmed by options, look for duplicity.

  • Do I feel burdened by impossible demands? Too many deadlines, too many phone calls to return, too many homework assignments to check on, too much shopping to do, too many calories to work off on the treadmill. In truth, the list itself will never go away. But when I sense myself flailing around and drowning in the impossibility of it all, I begin to look for duplicity.

  • Do I buy more than I can afford? Virtually everyone in ministry faces financial challenges, but sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be by adding debt to the equation. Over-spending and consumer debt are marked by a strong aroma of duplicity. We pretend that we have more money than our bank account actually contains. The core problem is not a financial one, but a desperate need for soul-level simplicity. When I want more than I can afford, I look for duplicity.

  • Do I frequently desire to be more than I am? My calendar reveals this issue. When scheduling, I'm not always realistic about the limits of my time or energy. And as a result, my false self, who does not want to disappoint or wishes to appear more capable, says "yes" to too many things. My duplicate self has agreed to something my real self cannot sustain.