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 Making it PersonalA Woman of Integrity Why doesn't "integrity" come up in conversations about women in leadership?
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In her wonderful book Gender and Grace, Mary Stewart Van Leeuwan explores an interesting way of thinking about the consequences of Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden. Part of Eve's punishment was that her desire would be for her husband. Van Leeuwan suggests that this is where our inherent, God-given need for relationships becomes twisted. Instead of living in harmony with those we care about, we will live in a state of wanting more, of needing more, than others can ever give. We will therefore push everything else—including our integrity—aside in the name of relationships. When I first read this part of Van Leeuwan's book, I was struck by how dead-on her assessment is. I am a classic people pleaser, and I know I have often sacrificed my time, my health, even my faith in an effort to maintain relationships. The situation with Helen was a good reminder for me that doing what's right will often be the very thing that solidifies a relationship. My reputation at work stayed intact because my coworkers saw my honesty, my trustworthiness, my integrity played out in our relationships. They had never seen me compromise what was right to get my way or make a good impression, so they had no reason to suspect I was the kind of person who would do so. They didn't just like me, they trusted me. Helen's words bounced around for a few hours and fell away without anyone giving them another thought. But the lesson for me—that it's our godly character that matters most to the people we lead—has lasted for years. Carla Barnhill is author of The Myth of the Perfect Mother and Blessings Every Day. This article first appeared on October 12, 2007 on GiftedforLeadership.com. |             |
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