Mentoring is back in favor again, like a wonderful old story that hasn't been told for so long it sounds new. Mentoring is an updated version of one of the oldest and best methods of learning. In times before academic degrees were mandatory for many careers, mentoring was the accepted system for training people for everything from manual skills to professions, such as medicine and law. Today there are several types of mentoring. I will discuss three: role model, lifestyle, and skills-art mentoring. Role modelRole models personify whom we would like to become. My wife, Mary Alice, had three women in her life who laid out the path she wanted to walk. The first was her high school teacher, Miss Brown, who was stately, dignified—totally ladylike. Mary Alice saw in her what she felt a southern lady should be. Even today Mary Alice will refer to her as the perfect lady. Next was her Bible teacher, Mrs. Keen, who taught a group of young mothers to understand the Scripture. Her cup overflowed with love and grace from the Lord. Mary Alice would say of her, "She is what a Christian should be." Then there was Miss Gordon—a tiny, immaculate, white-haired woman in her eighties. She was raised in culture and wealth but spent a great deal of her time reaching prisoners. She personified the quiet power of victory. When she passed away, it was a short step from here to heaven. Mary Alice found in these three women role models who mentored her adult life and vectored her lifestyle. They influenced her not by what they had but by who they were. Observation and identification are the important elements in role-model mentoring. Often the role model is not conscious of his or her effect on another person. Sometimes there is little personal contact between the two. For example, a role model might be a character from the Bible. Some say, "I'm like Peter," or "I resonate with Paul." In other words, role-model mentoring is largely unintentional on the mentor's part. Lifestyle mentoringAnother form of mentoring defines the principles of living. I recently heard a young man say, "My grandfather was everything to me. He loved me, and he taught me how to live." What a blessing. As we look at Scripture for lifestyle mentoring, we immediately think of the relationship between Paul and Timothy. We don't know how much technical skill as a missionary Paul gave Timothy, but we do know Paul was an excellent sponsor. We know he was a father in the faith. He let Timothy observe him at work. Paul promoted him to the churches. In the broad sense, we could call Paul a lifestyle mentor to Timothy. This type of mentoring is a kind of parenting without the typical parental responsibilities. The real responsibility falls on the young person to absorb and to observe correctly. The responsibility of the lifestyle mentor is to be open and real and to consistently personify who he is so that the young person receives a clear signal. The mentor must provide a comfortable atmosphere in which the student feels free to ask any question he or she needs answered. A good mentor never ridicules a question. He may choose not to answer it, but he is careful never to ridicule, for questions are the pump that makes the answers flow. Skills-art mentoringSkills-art mentoring is a one-on-one relation between a mentor and mentee for the specific and definable development of a skill or an art. One of my favorite mentoring stories is of the young pianist who came to Leonard Bernstein and asked to be mentored by him. Bernstein said, "Tell me what you want to do, and I will tell you whether or not you're doing it." Bernstein had a deep understanding of mentoring. The young man initiated the contact, he had a specific request, and he made the request of an authority. Bernstein essentially said to the young man, "You're responsible for your playing and your practice. The one thing you can't do is hear yourself as a great pianist hears you. That I can do and will do for you." In a church, skills-art mentoring might be used to prepare a young person for a particular ministry either inside or outside the church. Effective mentoring has no set formula. It's a living relationship and progresses in fits and starts. Even so, identifying which type of mentoring someone expects from you is the beginning of success. Adapted from The Pastor's Soul, Vol. 5: Leading with Integrity, © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International and published by Bethany House. 
  Teaching in Smaller GroupsGuidance for teaching in a Bible study, small group, or Sunday school class.  Small Group LeaderMotivating People to Work with Seniors Learn to delegate for a more effective ministry.  Leading Effective Community Prayer (free sample)Make sure the group feels safe and is on the same page with you. |            | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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