Managing Complainers Addressing complaints head-on can stop potential damage. Mark Wheeler
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Church staff, board members, and leaders are natural lightning rods for complainers. Afraid of voicing objections publicly or confronting the pastor directly, the disgruntled can do great harm by focusing on the negative, or worse, spreading false rumors or information about those in leadership. To help avoid these outcomes, keep these important principles in mind:
When I entered the pastorate, I had a good understanding of original sin. Six months later, I had an excellent understanding of original sin.
I had arrived only a few weeks after the departure of the founding pastor. He was well loved and had left on the best of terms to pursue a doctorate and a career in seminary teaching. We were just a small group meeting in a high school cafeteria, but I thought ...
Inside Church Fights by Marshall Shelley and Kevin Miller Marshall Shelley and Kevin Miller
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Speed Leas may be one of the world's foremost authorities on church conflict, but the first question people usually ask him is not, "What causes churches to fight?" Instead, the starter question is, "Is Speed your real name?"
Yes. Speed's grandfather was named for Joshua Speed, a farmer and acquaintance of Abraham Lincoln. Joshua Speed and Lincoln corresponded regularly, and they argued heatedly in ...
Six Rules for a Fair Fight Observing these rules can keep conflict from turning into full-scale warfare. Edward G. Dobson, Speed B. Leas, and Marshall Shelley
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Speed Leas, co-author of Mastering Conflict and Controversy, writes about a church that was mired in "dissension between the newcomers and long-time members." At an all-day meeting, the congregation drew up guidelines for how they would handle their conflict. Some of those guidelines:
1. Conflict can be healthy and useful for our church. It is okay for people to differ with one another.
Six months into our church plant, the two most influential families had a fight. Nasty words were exchanged, battle lines drawn. Both sides began recruiting people to their cause. Something had to be done, but what? I held separate meetings with the two parties, but that just made things worse.
"Lord, help me," I prayed desperately. I set up another meeting with both families.
Anatomy of a Church Fight How would you handle this real-life story of a lightning strike that ignited a firestorm? Leadership Journal
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The following account of a true-life political crisis in a church was prepared by the Harvard Business School for classroom discussion. Leadership sent copies to six pastors in five different states and invited them to kibitz—to look over the shoulder of Walnut Avenue Church and suggest where to go from here.
After reading the six responses, think what your advice would be. While no outsider can ...
Animal Instincts Five ways church members will react in a fight. Norman Shawchuck and Robert Moeller
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The women's ministries board was meeting, and you could cut the tension with a spatula.
"If the church won't provide baby sitters for the Friday Bible study, I won't be coming back," Susan said, her voice trembling with anger. "I don't need to spend my Friday mornings in a nursery, changing diapers and holding crying babies, when I can do that at home. I come here for a break, not more work. And I'm ...
Surviving a Power Play When the smoke cleared, this pastor was still standing. Marshall Shelley
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Church conflict can take many forms. Sometimes it's just random sniping—isolated complaints, but dangerous enough to keep you always wary: "I have some concerns about our church, Pastor, which I've been sharing at our prayer group."
Other times, the conflict is confined to border skirmishes—different groups squabbling over "turf"—who gets to decide the Sunday school curriculum or who ...
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